Funny stuff

see it here

The animated ones are hilarious!!

I have one and you don't!

I received my "I have one and you don't" MINI shirt. I so excited! I so special! They are discontinuing them apparently, so I may have one of the last ones. Hahaha. So that saying could be about the MINI AND the shirt. Teehee.

Happy Birthday Skinnee!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccckkkkkk!

Dear Friends:
It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news.
Please join me in remembering a great icon. Veteran Pillsbury spokesperson, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch, and many others. Doughboy has brought Smiles to many over the years.
The graveside was piled high with flours. Longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, as he wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man he was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought he'd rise once again, but he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two children and one in the oven.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Many left half baked.

people, please

I can't understand how people manage to go through life never learning how to use a public restroom. For those who are unsure, let me offer some tips.
1. Even if you are going to squat, please cover seat with some sort of wax paper device or basic toilet paper. That way when you sprinkle piss on the seat, you actually clean it up instead of leaving it for the next gal.
2. Please FLUSH the toilet when you are done evacuating. This can be done by pressing the pretty silver handle located on the tank. If you cannot locate this handle, please kill yourself now, you obviously will cause more harm than good to others. If you don't want to touch the handle to flush the toilet, may I recommend using a bit of t.p. to grasp handle. I prefer to kick it if possible. Makes me feel like a bad ass. I cannot imagine why people do not flush. It boggles the mind.
3. If you are so kind as to wash your hands after using the toilet, please remember to SHUT OFF THE WATER! I cannot believe the f-ing idiots who do not want to touch the faucet again, so they would prefer to waste water by the gallons instead. These woman, usually known by their designer bags and stinky perfume, should be tackled and made to wear Walmart brands.
4. The courtesy flush. This is a biggie. If you are going to take a monstrous dumpie, please flush as soon as crap hits water. For this is the only way to save others from having to breathe in your caviar, fried food ass. This is a real help to others, so please, please do this! It may take a few flushes, but it will be worth it. Once again, if you don't want to touch the handle, grab a little t.p. first. If you cannot find the handle, be prepared for me to stomp your stinky ass when you are done. I will use the plunger on your face!
This concludes our lesson.

Go 'head envy me

Yes, it's happening again! I am upgrading my Mac. This time it will be more memory. I recently acquired OS X Tiger and the minimum requirements for it is 256 MB. What do I have? 256 MB. This means that my computer is slooooooow. So I have just ordered a 512 MB chunk o' goodness.
That's right, envy ME! I'm Mac's MVP.
BTW, those who are unfamiliar with rap songs will not know that is a play on the song by Game called Hate It or Love It. I am guessing most of my reader's will hate it, but still....

New Fave

Matisyahu.

Check it out!

I Love crab cakes

I Looooooooove crab cakes!
Guess what I'm having for dinner?
That's right, steak! No, just kidding. LOL hehe.

anyone?

Maybe it is just me but I don't think 9 yr olds should be left alone at home. My neighbor leaves her kid at home alone and she isn't in school or anything either. Then today I noticed the child had posted a letter on the mailboxes saying that she will babysit if anyone is interested and prefers kids 5 months to 6 years. She will also do house cleaning for $8 an hour. Ummm, does anyone else think this is just wrong?

hooked

Thanks Biff! Now all I want to do is play PaiGow poker and 5 cent video poker with max bets.
Went to Vegas and Laughlin this weekend. Hada blast! Last minute fun after a DRP meeting.
Thanks T and B McD for a great time.
PUSH!

SPD

MINI Elvis

Funny! Need to get one for Tot.

Fun Weekend with weird endings

Friday night Biff and I had dinner with some cool ass folks from Sierra Vista. They went home Saturday and got into a little accident, rolling their poor MINI down an embankment.
Saturday we went to dinner with my 'rents and then to the car show. We were accompanied by 8 lovely minis. It was a great time.
Sunday Biff and I motored to Flagstaff and enjoyed a lovely rainstorm. We sat at the brewery and looked out at the train, the rain, and a drrrty red MINI. Nice views.
On the way home, we crawled the 2 hour drive and made it home in 4 hours. Apparently there were two rollover accidents in different places on the I-17 resulting in two deaths. Kinda makes ya realize how lucky our friends were on Saturday afternoon. I shudder to think what the outcome could have been.