If it's wrong

I don't wanna be right.
I am hooked on this site.
It's like Us Weekly and Star MagRag all wrapped up in one.
Guilty pleasure.

I'm cool...er now.

Check out my cool new MINI accessory!
Here's where to get one.

12 miles

24 MINIs went to the 12 miles of terror yesterday.

theories

OK, let's discuss Tom Leykis.
This muthafucka really hates women. In particular, large women, older women, women with vaginas, etc.
Let's think about why this could be.
Theory #1
He hasn't had any sex lately.
Theory #2
He was brutally rebuffed by a fat, old chick.
Theory #3
He is trying to be Howard Stern, who seems to really enjoy putting women down (while claiming to love them).
Theory #4
He is just an old, fat guy who is BITTER!

Yeah, that's what I thought.

nervous

Nervous about tonight's surprise photo shoot with Brianna. I think she is going to have to get me drunk. Anyway, stay tuned for the pix. :)

The shiznit

OK, I know this is old news, but if you do this to your blog, it is VERY entertaining.

too boring for you to read

I was told I could discuss anything on here even though Biff reads it. I just don't feel comfortable with that, but this IS my journal and I should be able to express myself instead of censoring myself.
Biff and I are trying to be friends with the understanding of 3 rules.

1. We can never discuss the reasons for the break-up. It is just to hurtful to hear again and again.
2. We cannot tell each other about anyone we are dating.
3. We cannot bring said date to any car club event, at least not any time soon.

The last two rules are basically for my protection only because when a guy you are happily dating tells you he doesn't want to date not only you, but anyone and then proceeds to find someone new right away, we are led to one conclusion and one conclusion only.

HE MUST DIE!

So I cannot see or know about anyone he may be chatting up or snuggling with. Thank gawd he doesn't feel this is too much to ask. Perhaps one day he will question if that is still a rule and unless (and even if) I am happily dating someone else, he still can't be. :) You wanna be alone? You better BE alone...foreva!

Ladies, are ya with me on this?

Anyway, on that note, I have been going out with a few different people in the last week or so. It's nice to be out and about, but I do miss the happiness I once had with Biff. If only because it had reached that comfort level where one doesn't have to be ON all the time. We had finally settled into that place couples go to where they are really truly themselves. If that is why he decided it was a good time to end it, it may cause me to question the intelligence of allowing myself to be at that place again with someone. Or if perhaps it is best to keep my true self from someone I am dating. But then how can it be a truly fulfilling relationship? Do I need a truly fulfilling relationship or does it just lead to boredom and maybe infidelity?
Damn, I am tired.
Thanks for reading.
Hope I didn't bore the pants off of you, dear reader.
If I did perchance, please take pix and show me. :)-

Have it Your way

This is just funny shit right here.

Ferret Sex

By far the greatest "smiley" ever.

Late Night Finds

Very funny cartoon.
and a fancy kit for those who need help.

Vegas

Finally made my reservations for the MINI trip in Vegas.
I think it will be the same as last year and completely different than last year.

Same: I decided to get my own room just like last year. It was the first time I had ever stayed in a hotel room by myself and I must say it was liberating.
Same: I am single in Vegas again. Last year I was finishing up with someone that was on the trip. Same as this year since Biff will be there.
Same: I plan to stay up late and get up early. Last year I missed all the early morning runs, but so did my friends. :)

Different: I have a whole bunch of new friends to see there.
Different: I doubt I will be turning into "Vegas Dee" who likes to argue with cab drivers and assorted whores.
Different: Last but not least...My cool pal Brianna won't be there to get locked in my trunk or throw up in garbage cans. :(

Woman turns down money, thought to be crazy

I decided a while back to take off Thursdays to save my back.
This morning I get a call from a client willing to give me cash money today. I told her I was not working today.
I lamented on my decision for about 2 hours. Then I went to the store and saw an old lady bent over limping around and decided that I was FINE with not working on Thursday.

My Dream

OK, no more posts about what's-his-name...time to move on.

I had this very vivid sexual dream last night about my other ex. Let's call him Justin, cause that's his name.
We were rolling around on the bed while I kept trying to call my brother-in-law whose phone I had. Then my sis and bro-in-law show up and they brought all of my favorite junk foods. Hostess products and such.
Then we all sit down to dinner, but before that I go back into the bedroom where Justin is hiding and some south of the border action ensued. Then we went to eat cupcakes with the fam.
I miss cupcakes.

Yeah!

Wish List

So I thought it would be fun to check out Yahoo personals. What a scary looking batch of would be suitors. I guess it scared me because I am not ready, but I really need to get out and meet some new men. So there was this one guy, and he looked ok and wasn't all about Jeeezuz, but if I want to write to him it'll cost me $12.95 or something like that.
I think it is better to just meet someone through friends. Unless your friends have this scary guy they think would be good for me simply because he is single too. I do not believe in that stuff. I would rather be alone than go on a blind date or a set up date with someone just cause "he's single too and soooo nice."
Sorry, that's just not the way it works for me. You have to see someone, there's a spark or you keep going back to glance again and so is he. Then when you speak to them, all you can do is smile, and they smile while talking to you. I have met a few guys like this and that spark of chemistry does not lie. So if you don't at least have that, you have nada, zilch, nothing.
So looking for the spark. And a few other things:

1.Must be smart. No "I seen them dudes..." shit. I will go crazy correcting everything you say. First, just to myself, then to you.

2.Must be into cars. I am sooo into cars, it's not even funny. I appreciate a nice car that is well cared for. *cough (MINI)* It doesn't have to be a fancy sports (MINI) car or expensive (MINI) car at all. The car (MINI) you drive reflects you, think about that (MINI). If you have a MINI, that might be cool. Maybe. ;)

3.Must be able to fix things. I am talking about the handy guy that can put up your shelves or blinds. He can change a tire, or even the oil. Nothing to me is more attractive than a capable man that can get his hands dirty. Love those grease monkeys!

4.Must not be sooo tall that I get a neck ache. I am a shorty, 5'2. I like a man no taller than about 5'10. Then I can look you in the eye. I went to the prom with a guy who was 6'4. Not a good evening for me dance wise, as in, we didn't and couldn't.

5.Must be ambitious or a go-getter of sorts. I want to go out walking or something and you have the TV guide highlighted with all your shows for the week? N-O. Get off that couch and into the land of the living!

6.Please don't be a jerk and pick up on my friends, sister, or mom.

7. Oh, and no Dads. No offense, just not for me since I don't want my OWN kids, I sho nuf don't want yours.

8.No alkies or chain smokers, drug addicts, etc.

That's not asking for much now, is it?

Friends With An Ex?

Not according to THIS article.
Or this little tidbit I just read:

Breaking up is (usually) more than just deciding not to share a mattress anymore. While you're adjusting to being single again, try to maintain a little distance with your ex. Continuing your Sunday night sushi ritual is only going to make it more difficult to move on with your life. When you're finally ready to see someone new and are okay with seeing your ex on someone else's arm, feel free to pick up those friendly chopsticks again.

Sometimes you can't just downshift a relationship from sexual to platonic. Admit defeat when it just doesn't seem like it can work out happily. Just wanting a friendship to work unfortunately doesn't mean that it will.

Check out the following list and judge for yourself whether or not you and your ex can still be friends:

If you still have feelings for him, then I say walk away. But if you genuinely enjoy his friendship, then why not?

If you are no longer sexually attracted to him, then there is a chance for friendship.

Depending on what happened for the breakup to occur, if you feel that you are able to forgive and forget, then go for it.

Worst Lie Ever

Neat-o!

Wow, I just figured out (because I am a GENIUS) that Safari does not support javascript on this site. Which means if I want to have cool links and such like Brian and Brianna do, I have to use Firefox when blogging.
Look, now I can even do cool things like this. This is neat-o! I finally know what I've been missing out on!

OK, more later.

dee-

Things that are dee-lightful:
*Dusty, lightly snoring then chomping his kitty cat jaw like an old man with no teeth.
*Sleeping late and then lolling with no appaarent plan for the day.
*Friendly people in MINI Coopers.
*Friends that say "want me to come over" when I am sad.
*MINI Coopers
*Text messaging

Things that I dee-test:
*Late or no-show clients
*Unrequited love
*Talking on the phone (and as a bonus my new phone has super speakers that make me sound like Darth Vader all the time.)
*Thinking about "my future" money-wise. (there is none, so now what?)

and again

more fun quotes

No, really.

fave quote

it's over.

I got some news today that will change EVERYTHING I ever thought I knew.
Lance and Sheryl have broken up!
How can I attempt to have a successful relationship with Biff when all the people I turn to for guidance let me down?
Heather and Richie
Nicole and DJ AM
Brad and Jen
Chad and Hillary
??????????????????????????????????
I can't.believe.it's over.

Who will be the example I follow? Who will light the way when we quarrel?

I guess I am going to have to turn to

these people

Dammit!
btw, will someone tell me how to add groovy links without these bullets?
Thanks!

It's a Jewish Thing

read all about it

stolen from the pages of jewlicious

Man Too Stupid. Must Be Destroyed.

Man calls police: My marijuana has been stolen
Associated Press
Feb. 1, 2006 07:25 AM
OREM, Utah - A man who called police to report his marijuana was stolen was arrested after police recovered the pot and invited him to come to the Public Safety Building to identify it.

Kory C. Tippetts, 18, of Orem, was arrested and booked into the Utah County jail for investigation of possession of marijuana in a drug-free zone with intent to distribute, police said Tuesday.

Tippetts called police Monday evening after someone broke a window, got cut on the glass and crawled into his home while he was away. He told police the only thing missing was a quarter-pound bag of marijuana he was selling.

Tippetts also told officers that a man called him about buying some marijuana earlier in the day, but Tippetts was on his way to work and told the caller no. He gave police the caller's name.

Officers found Richard W. Hight, 23, at his mother's home in Provo, where they recovered six ounces of marijuana. Hight had a cut on his arm and blood-soaked pants, police said.

He was arrested for investigation of burglary, theft and possession of marijuana in a drug-free zone with intent to distribute and booked into the Utah County jail.

hmmmm?

He's trying to tell us something. What can we learn from this cat?
I think he is saying the picture over the TV is crooked. What do you think he is saying?
BTW, not mine.

My Post Secret

Sometimes I make comments to my own blog and then am genuinely surpirised and delighted when I hear the beep telling me I have mail. Even though I know it is from me and I expect it. That is not why I make the comments, btw. I am a humongo nerd.