Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I have been quiet long enough...

The facts as I see them: abridged
December of 2 years ago, a certain ex-wife stops allowing her husband to express his affections. As a result of that, said guy turns to internet chat rooms and meets a nice, married woman with similar problems to talk to. All they do is talk and certain ex-wife assumes he is talking to me and concocts fabulous story in her head and considers divorce. At this time I have never even talked to said guy unless a "hi" in passing at a car club event or a hello on aol in the morning for 2 secs while I check my mail.
October 2004, said couple celebrates 15 year anniversary and goes on a trip to see son off and spend time with nature. During this trip said guy attempts to make things better with, oh let's just call her Agnes. Agnes isn't having it though, she has lost some weight and thinks she can make it in the dating world and doesn't need said guy we will call Biff.
Not sure of the exact date, but around January, Biff tells me his Agnes has filed for divorce, bought herself a new house and is soon to be a leavin' his sad, sad ass.
Right around this time, Biff becomes aware that Agnes thinks he is having an affair with me. That is how I found out that I was supposedly the reason for this poor couple's divorce. I never even had a 5 minute chat with Biff at this time and Agnes HATES me. She goes to a couple of car club functions hoping to "catch me in the act" Then comments on how I avoided the two of them. Well, didn't know I was supposed to be avoiding you, just didn't care to speak to you biatch.
My b-day, March 1. I am depressed and feeling all out of sorts chatting with friend Biff on the aol. Ring, it's Biff. Don't be sad. I will cheer you up. All of a sudden a gigantic well wishing on my fave website. Thanks friend for cheering me up. At this time, I still had no idea I was the cause of the divorce. Or that I was having illicit affair with Biff.
Vegas, AMVIV, supposedly Biff and I are shacked up doing the nasty day and night. I think I actually saw Biff about 3 times the whole weekend, once in the casino, and once at the hosted dinner, and he drove back with me and a yellow mini.
April, Biff is legally separated and extremely depressed while Agnes enjoys her new found freedom in her brand new home. She has no need for Biff even though he attempts to reconcile many times.
Mid April, Biff and I start hanging out at various MINI functions and with friends at non MINI functions. Still, nothing is going on with me and Biff because I am not interested in a him in that way.
Late April, Biff gets a new MINI and we drive around in it. During this drive Biff receives 3 phone messages from Agnes and numerous text messages. "Are you on a hot date with HER?" uhhhh...no! Can't men and women be friends?
Early May, Biff and I hang out a lot and sometimes without others around. At this time, he has a court date for his final divorce decree. We begin casually seeing each other, but keep it a secret from our "friends" due to the judgemental nature of a few of them. Wow, I have seen Biff change from a sad, lonely, fat guy, into a bouyant cutie. He's happy, I'm happy, he is ready to MOVE ON!!!
May 24, Biff's divorce is final. Now we can finally have some s-e-x, I am thinking.
That was a Tuesday. On Friday, I still had not seen Biff because he needed some time to go through his feelings about Agnes. Around 6 pm that night I receive two bb bullets in my two windows while I am home. Thanks Agnes, but really, not my fault you are now divorced. You asked for it, you got it, Toyota! BTW, cannot prove said event was caused by Agnes, but she is crazy enough to do it.
Now, 3 mean ass emails later from Agnes and a list of my shortcomings from various ex-friends plus Agnes, Biff is warned to "watch out, I am trouble and he deserves better. No vindictive behavior here, you should just know what kind of person she is." Well seems to me Agnes is a little bit psycho and I am going to file an injunction of harassment against her.
So to all the critics and those who are unsure, no, I did not break up said marriage. This train was headed off the tracks for some time and now because Agnes is not enjoying the single life so much, she needs someone to blame. All I know, I do not wish to be a pawn in this little game of revenge Biff and Agnes have going.

2 Opinions

Blogger Stoopidgirl said...

Amen Sista...you're on the path to true enlightenment...please collect $200 and go strait to heaven, your plate is clear.

You are allowed in to heaven aren't you?

10:56 PM  
Blogger deetour said...

Doubt it.

10:57 PM  

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