Saturday, September 17, 2005

10 years ago, by request.

Geez, 10 years ago I was 24! Twenny fore. What year was that, 1995? Hmmm.... Lets' see.
I had just purchased my super cool 95 Honda Civic EX with VTEC engine in a smashing shade of Paradise Blue Green Pearl.
I was living with this asshole (a manager of a Home Depot) who always said he was "farting through silk" if things were going well. I am proud to say I never picked up on this phrase.
I was working at the Home Depot at the Special Services Desk. This was a very stressful position to be in especially on a Saturday morning all by myself. One total creep told me I needed to "get some". It would put me in a "better mood". I was so glad when he was caught "shoplifting" later that day.
Mental state? Not good. Living with asshole who at this time wanted me to convert to Christianity if I ever expected him to marry me. On our first date he told me I was going to hell. Seem to hear THAT a lot in my life. I guess everyone knows better cuz they believe in fairy tales. Anywho, I was young and impressionable (has anything changed? other than the young part?) and I agreed to go to this church with him. He was not a member of any church and BTW was very mean to his mother, so I didn't think he was a very good "christian" or anything. But I did agree to give it a shot and we wound up at this trailer that said first church of white trash on the outside and don'tcha know it, there was some white guy up in the front of the trailer, I guess that was the kitchen at some time, and he was a strummin that geeetar and a singin some jesus loves us song and the women in the front row were a swoonin and sayin thank you jesus, etc. I burst into tears and ran outta there. I thought, omg I have seen some things in my life, but I did not know people places things such as that were real and would be a part of MY life.
Our relationship went from bad to worse. You know when you tell someone you love them and they say NOTHING back that you are in trouble.
I moved back in with my parents shortly after and stayed with them for 6 months until I bought my little condo. I immediately got some kind of cold, was very depressed, and wanted to kill my mother. We actually got into one of the worst fights we have ever had. I realized that I could NEVER live with her again, because you see, I was 24, not 12. I didn't want to tell her who, what, when, where, how.
The day I moved into my condo was the best day and the worst day. You see, my Dad had hoped that I could just live with them until I got married at some point, and I could save some money. I laughed at this then because as you now know, I had just broken up with asshole boyfriend and marriage was not on the mind. I laugh now because I am 34 and still not married, poor Dad. I remember sitting on my free couch with my 19" TV and a bag of cheetos and thinking, this is going to be great. Then I remember hearing a noise and rocking back and forth saying "everything's gonna be alright" over and over.
Thanks for making me look back at that to see how far I have come.

2 Opinions

Blogger brianna said...

isn't life grand? lol, no, i mean that! it feels good to ditch the assholes, and ten years later, it's like, "who's laughin nooooow beyotch!?!" yay dee!!

3:53 PM  
Blogger Stoopidgirl said...

so what exactly has changed? I'm so confused.

oh wait...we like Scott...that's a plus!

8:33 PM  

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