Maybe they aren't insane...

What part of your life do you want to handle?

Unhappiness, Stress, Anxiety, Depression (YES!)
Trouble Thinking Clearly (I can barely understand this sentence!)
Personal Well-being (Can it help me lose 10 lbs.?)
Marriage (HA!)
Children (no, but thanks!)
Helping Others (sometimes)
Integrity, Honesty, Right and Wrong (oh yeah, I am all over that one!)
Education and Learning (I always wanted to be smart)
Communication (I hear ya!)
Job Productivity, Achieving Goals, Financial Success (cool, really?)
Living in a Dangerous Environment (oooh, sounds hot! Will Scott Foley be there?)
Drug and Alcohol Problems (I'd like to try sometime)
Personalities, Emotions and How to Deal with Others (that could be useful)

Apparently all I have to do is pay some money and sell my soul and I can be a Scientologist too. Awesome!