gruck

Good info here.
post your own.

No wonder

A woman who looks like this told me today that my hair was too long and it drew attention to my "chubby hips".
No wonder I have body issues and a fear of food.

Never a dull moment in AZ

These girls are mad, MAD, I say!!! So mad that they will resort to using their bodies to make money! Mad I say!
On a side note, WHY is prostitution illegal? No really? Kinda reminds me of that Salt n Pepa song from waaaaay back.
If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight
It's none of your business
And she wanna be a freak and sell it on the weekend
It's none of your business
Now you shouldn't even get into who I'm givin' skins to
It's none of your business
So don't try to change my mind, I'll tell you one more time
It's none of your business

Crack Dressing?

Bri's tot is addicted to ranch dressing. I was alerted to his addiction last night at Red Robin. We had discussed the possibility of crack being an ingredient. I decided to do my own research. Here are my findings:
Ingredients:
1 clove garlic, peeled
2 to 3 pinches of kosher salt
3/4 cup buttermilk
2 to 3 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1 tablespoon minced fresh cilantro or parsley
1 tablespoon snipped fresh chives
2 bags crack
kosher salt to taste
black pepper to taste

What could be causing him to use his delectable fraanch fry as a spoon?

Vegas, the recap

Thursday:
The luscious Bri arrives at my door looking good enough to snack on. We leave to meet the peeps and begin the drive to the motherland. 15 MINIs made the trip up together. More would arrive later. The music was groovin'; Geto Boys (Damn, it feels good...), Maroon 5, and even a touch of Evanescence.
A restroom in Kingman had a selection of sexual needs in the ladies room. For .75 cents we sashayed off with some numbing lubricant and a lucky coin.
Friday:
Woke up earlyish and had a breakfast buffet with 19 of my closest friends. We then picked up on some hotties in the parking garage. More on them later. ;)
Then it was off to the M&M store where we stocked up on some much needed nutritional staples. I got my thong pulled up over my head while we walked on the strip and I held hands with two girls. All in all a fine afternoon. Ouch!
Friday afternoon we went on a fun run to Red Rock whateverucallit. I should mention that as we were lining up to go we saw "the hotties" again and invited them to join us. They accepted and so began our adventure with "K" and "M". On the way we saw a suicidal, horny donkey and a whole lotta MINIs. We discussed everything from deep tissue massage to stalker redheads. That evening was the famous "strip cruise" when every MINI there lined up to drive along LV Blvd whilst honking and yelling at pedestrians. Good times!
After the cruise, Bri and I met up with K and M for a night of debauchery. We saw some artwork, ran 2 blocks from security (I have the blisters to prove it) and motored. We developed friendships and private jokes that will never get old! I got to see Bri soaking wet in her underwear and two topless boys. Or should I say muscular men. Went to sleep around 4 am.
Saturday:
Woke up around 9 and went to breakfast with Bri and Biff. Then it was time for the joke we had planned to play on our friend Chris. We made shirts for a group of us that said "I SLEPT WITH CHRIS ____ (last name excluded here to protect him)." We put them on under our jackets and when we were all together we handed him HIS shirt which said " I AM CHRIS ___". Then we made him put the shirt on. He was perplexed. All at once we revealed our shirts. He had a grin from ear to ear most of the day. People kept stopping us to read our shirts and he felt like a stud everywhere we went.
After that we decided to go on the Poker Run. We had really bad cards, but it was fun anyway.
That night was the big banquet which was quite fun. Bri took off with the hotties and I hung out with the MINI peeps. Biff and I ran over to the Golden Nugget for souvenirs, but didn't find anything. Then we got a little tipsy and walked around our hotel casino where I won $40!!! Yay!
Went to bed at 3 am.
Sunday: last day :(
Got up at 8 and made it to the farewell breakfast just in time for it to be over. We grabbed some muffins and bagels and got ready to leave LV. Only had a second to say goodbye to the hotties. Hope they keep in touch.
Bri got to drive the MINI for a while and we finally made it back home. I am still tired today, but life goes on.
We had 25 MINIs there from our club. Cool! Waiting on pix...

Vegas!

Getting ready to gooooooo...............................
Won't be the same as last year, but I think it will be great! A bunch of new people are going to be there.

Missing Hafid, my dance partner. :)

Tina-hope the wedding is great! We will miss you!

double gasp!

I have ANOTHER hottie neighbor! He just moved in with his girlfriend. :(
what a bummer, but he is a cutie pie! This morning I was leaving for work and he was working on his car.
Now if you are new to deetour let me refresh your memory: I LOVE LOVE LOVE men who work on cars. So you can imagine how impressed I was to hear wrenching in the early hours.
Sigh.
Oh, and he had a ball cap on. More refreshing of memories...I love a guy in a ball cap.
Sigh.

OK that is all.

U go girl

I was reading some UsPeopleStar magazine at work today and happened upon an article about single celebs. It said that even these fantastic, gorgeous, "talented" women couldn't find dates, so don't feel bad.
Don't feel bad....hmmmm...can I feel worse than bad? Is that ok?
If what's her name can't get a date and she has the following: tight abs, perfect face, legs that don't quit, what chance do "normal" girls have?
I can't compete.
So go on Jake Gyllenhaal, go forth Jude Law....keep walking. Obviously there is nothing here for you. Nothing there either.
Oh and by the way, why are there so many great single chicks out there and like no single men? Every guy I can see has a girlfriend, boyfriend, significant other, wife, fiance, etc. Do any single men exist?
Now I am going to Vegas soon and I wanna meet some single guys! So y'all better be there and don't lie about being single if you're not. Just be single and BE THERE!!!!!

Me too!

Gasp! I have a hottie neighbor!
He has lived at my condo complex for a few years, but I don't think I really ever appreciated his sheer hotness til this morning.
I was leaving for work, getting in my car and he walks by. He was wearing those shiny long shorts guys wear to hang out in. And flip flops. And a tight tank top. I just watched him walk away. Niiiiiiiiiiiiice butt.
Sigh.


He is about 25. Dark tan skin, dark brown hair, tight ass, sinewy legs. About 5'10.
Sigh.

I know he is married or something with a baby. I can look though.
He gave me a little wave.
Just with his hand.
Not with his penis or anything. ;)-
Sigh.

The Forbidden Episode

The Scientology South Park episode. Long one. Funny though.

Yeah, I get it *rolling eyes*

Dear Dee,
Here is your horoscope
for Monday, March 20:

Fulfilled wishes come with a whole new set of problems that need solving. Keep that in mind before you start complaining about what it is that you don't have. Stay in the now. Appreciate what's in front of you.

You can't always get what you want

It sucks when you can't get what you want.

I want to eat Ben and Jerry's without guilt.
I want to laze on a beach every day.
I want a man who gets me.
I want to motor at 120 on every freeway.
I want to win the lottery.
I want to travel to distant places.
I want all the cars on the road to be MINIs.
I want...

Wanna Be On Top?

Time for your update on America's Next Top Model. You know you wanna know...
They voted off Wendy, who I thought was tre unattracteev. But I would rather see her stay than see dumbass ugly man-like Jade stay. Oh well, I guess they only need her for the DRAMA. She is good at being mean to people for no good reason.
Next week there is sure to be some fun because it's time for the infamous "pose with bugs" show! Yay!
Stay tuned to the deetour channel for all the latest Top Model info.

Pix

women dressed up as their vaginas.

and a man being himself.

awwww yeaaaahhhhh

Violence is funny sometimes.

I've Caught Brian's Disease.

Disturbing.
Now I have to post weird videos too.

Celebrity Crush

Lisa Loeb
she's yummy
I'd do her
if...

Hairy situation

Someone felt the need to do this.

Dear Dee,
Here is your horoscope
for Monday, March 13:

Laugh 'til it hurts -- especially if you're dealing with a recent upset or disappointment. Once you're able to laugh at the situation, you'll be able to view the events and the people involved with detachment. Next stop: forgiveness.

Saturday night

Went to a fun party with Brianna last night at friend J and P's place.
Other than tripping while sneaking UP the stairs, here are some other highlights:

Drinking and rough housing with animals is a bad combination. This guy that is living with them was terrorizing this black labish looking dog. The dog kept coming back for more so he might have enjoyed the wrestling, but it was just too much. By the end of the evening, everyone was telling the guy off and he felt stupid. Yay!

A bald biker guy seemed interested in me, but I had the hindsight of "the past" to guide me into the "no, thank you" attitude. "Been there, done that" never seemed so appropriate.

Very hot Asian gal chatted with us all night. When her and her fiance first walked in I was sans glasses and thought it was Russ and Tinafish. But no! It was all good though. They were very cool.

Some young skinny guy who thought he was God's gift walks in to what seemed like applause. He proceeds to walk by us and ignore us whilst taking over our conversation with hot girl. He had his name on his jacket, so in true dee fashion, I said "Hey Corey, how have you been?" and gave him this gigantic hug. He was taken aback and was nice after that, but sooo in lurve with himself. I cannot STAND guys like that.

Reading Playboy and Maxim, while all the guys came over to talk to us. "what's that your reading there?" "so how do YOU know J and P?" Yes, those ARE our girlfriends glaring at us right now." Teehee.

Doing squats with B in the loft.

Whoring myself out for some of their CDs which I am importing to iTunes as I type.

Watching some bitch ass girlfriend walk to the door, open it, stand outside and glare at her boyfriend who then got up, looked around for somewhere to put his cup and sheepishliy left with her. HA!

Priceless!

Smoke gets in your eyes

Home from a night of drinking, bar hopping and soul baring.
4 bars, 2 drinks, 1 shot.
I smell like smoke, my eyes are burning, and I'm glad I didn't have to drive.
I have to go to sleep now, but just wanted to say "oy".

Damn kids!

I think the girl scouts are a wonderful organization. That said, I hate them all because of this.
I cannot resist. My thighs are going to be huge! Well at least the box is done now. I don't plan to buy more, so I think I'm gonna be ok.

It's happening again!

America's Next Top Model! Why I care, I know not. All I know is I must see EVERYTHING!!!! We already know the winner will be Nnemma born in Africa. All you have to do is look at her. She is the epitome of grace and beauty. Those other bitches don't have a chance in hell. Anyway, stay tuned for the recaps you know you want/need.

The search is over

After spending about two days looking for the name of a song found on a mixed CD, I am happy to report that I have done it.
Mambo Craze. Check #15.
Originally thought to be a Crazy Penis song, I have now learned that it is by De-Phazz. I am so relieved to be done looking through song lyrics and snipets on iTunes. Now I can totally relax. Sigh.
Good song though.

After the fact

So after the whole iTunes debacle, I have been whoring myself out for the opportunity to get other people's CD's so I can replenish my resurrected albeit depleted music files. Some songs say they are 4 minutes long but actually are only 2 minutes or less.
I borrow Master B's coveted stash only to be pleasantly surprised by some of her musical tastes. I won't embarass her here (she knows to what I am referring), but I will say that we all have what we consider to be embarassing musical tastes. For example anyone who knows me knows that I adore the B man.
What are some of your forbidden musical pleasures?

Watch this

Very cool little video.

Self portrait

I took this on my cell phone! Cool, huh?

Dumbass

So the other night I am going thru my files playing delete this, delete that and I happen to come across a folder of music that I think is just copies of what I already have. I delete the folder.
I have just deleted all 4,500 plus songs in my iTunes library.
It cost me $99.95 for a Data Rescue disk, $120.00 for an external 80GB hard drive, and hours of pain trying to get it all back to normal.
I'm not done yet, but almost.

It's MY party now!

It's my 35th birthday!
And with a nod to stoopidgirl, I add my own version of her salute to aging.
Thanks to B for her photography skills.